Surrender

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Surrender

Having discussed the core of service, joy, and inward focus, what more could there be to talk about? Well for me, one of the most difficult aspects of living a life of service and maintaining an inward focus is to accept things as they are and, in essence, surrender to my place in the world.

I have at times imagined myself as an independent force capable of setting my own direction. However, that is not really true. We are all inter dependent on each other and true happiness comes from accepting and embracing that inter dependence rather from the false sense of self importance that imagined independence provides. If you have ever seen a mechanical watch or clock. it is like we are each cogs in the mechanism. If we choose we can resent the cog that is always pushing us forward, the other cog that is always holding us back and the axle and supports which are holding us in place so that we can't do anything about it. That is a path to misery and suffering.

In the alternative, we can celebrate our place in the mechanism and appreciate the cog that gives us drive as well as the cog that shows us restraint and the axle and supports which provide us with the support so that we can do our job. Nothing will change from the reality of our state, but we can decry it or celebrate it. That is our real choice.

A better example of our state would be that of a single cell in our body for example (a part of a greater whole) or an ant in a colony of ants. We do have a variety of choices before us (certainly more than a cog), but all the choices are simply different ways to be a part of something greater. As an ant we could nurse young ants, explore for food, enlarge tunnels, carry food back to nest or any number of other tasks, but they all relate to the well being of the colony. In a similar fashion, whatever we, as humans, do they are different aspects of humanity and life on Earth.

While we need only maintain a inward focus to have a very sweet life, it is often useful to contemplate our role in our environment. If we feel that we need to control any aspect of our environment, then we have fallen into an outward focus. By focussing instead on being a part of a greater whole (surrender) we can feel in harmony with out environment without any need to control our environment. It is by joyfully accepting our role that we can redirect our tendencies to outward focus to an inward focus.

This is an important point. It is often easy to too get focussed on eliminating misery and suffering. Indeed the last section on joy mostly discussed strategies for just that. Of course, the elimination of misery and suffering provides an initial joy just because of that release, but if we just eliminate our focus on the transient nature of those things outside of us, we can be left with an empty life with no purpose. It is much better to maintain a balance of adding purpose to our life as we eliminate the outward focus on transient things. For me that purpose comes from celebrating my role in a greater whole. Rather focussing on that which is temporary and transient, I focus on that which is timeless and eternal and being a part of that. For me, that is the essence of surrender.

While it is good to appreciate that everything we have and need comes from other parts of the whole and to endeavor to contribute back to the whole, it is also worthwhile to contemplate purpose. Just as the different cells of our body have numerous mechanistic guides to encourage them to work in harmony toward their own betterment (and ours as well, of course), we also have numerous guides as to how we should live our life. Things like our natural desires for a romantic relationship and the commitments of family that that naturally entails are all reasonable guides to what our role could be. Similarly our skills, interests, and different expected salaries can be helpful guides as a useful direction for our career.

Beyond the simple mechanistic directions of our body (which covers mundane things like breathing, heart beat, etc.), the more interesting goals and purpose comes from us, the consciousness which encompasses the whole, the combination of all our cells. Just as we provide direction and purpose for our body, the highest purpose comes from the univeral consciousness of which we are a part. Surrender is really accepting that our purpose springs from universal consciousness and dedicating ourselves to that purpose.

Of course it is easy to talk about dedicating ourselves to a higher purpose, but the truth is we have to make decisions every day and it is seldom clear what we should do toward that higher purpose. Many decisions are pretty straight forward. Clearly we should honor our commitments to our family, especially children and parents. Similarly, it is clear that we should do what we can to oppose those things which are fundamentally wrong like the indiscriminate killing of innocent men, women, and children who are, for example, praying in a mosque. However, there are also many decisions which are not so clear, should we spend time with our kids or with our mom.

While we have many commitments (we should spend time with our kids and our parents), there needs to be a balance and in certain cases we need to choose which is appropriate. In those cases where the choice is not clear, I try to let God (or the universal consciousness) be my guide. Sometimes I just do what feels right at the moment when there is no clear reason to make one choice or another. When I don't get any feeling for what is the right thing to do, I will consider what obstacles might come up and choose the path that flows most easily (using obstacles as my guide as the path to not take). Of course, this is only in cases when there are not clear reasons to choose by. If it is a case of honoring my commitments, opposing those things which are fundamentally wrong, and similar ilk, then perseverance is called for and obstacles have little bearing on the choice.

There can be a great release when we accept our role as a part of a greater whole, surrendering the need to insure everything works out and instead just focussing on doing what we are called to do. This acceptance naturally gives us an inward focus and helps free us from the allure of an outward focus.

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This page was last updated on May 28, 2007